Swimming to London

I’m going to London.
I don’t know how it will work and I need fundraising ideas.
I want to leap.

This London decision is scary.

Depending on the day, I wake up either ready to write the department head to give up my spot or give up all I own to get there.

Today? I want to go so badly I don’t know what to do. This desire, of course, comes with questions. Is my indecision just what I need to push myself out of my comfort zone? Maybe this is my time to just jump. I’ve never been impulsive and I’ve lived my life according to a very specific plan. My life is not bad by any means. I have three degrees, a very nice salary, a nice car, I’ve travelled, and I can for the most part do what I want because I have nothing tying me down. So why leave? Because I’m not happy.

This wanderlust grows in me each day, every time I pull into my parking spot and head to my desk, each night on my drive home, and each time I realize I have options not to waste away in my hometown.

It is, of course, crazy to most people around me to get a “good” job and quit it at 33 to move to a foreign country I’ve only been to once. Most people have lived in this same small town for their entire lives. The fact I’ve travelled in this country is a big deal. England? Unheard of!

I want to go. I do. I just need to get over this fear and stop worrying about what happens after graduation. I’ve managed to land on my feet each time. And honestly? I can always go home.

The next step? I need to raise the money for my deposit and find a place to live.

I don’t know what I’m doing. My tuition deposit is due for school #1 and honestly? I don’t want to go. Why? Not because I’ve completely changed my mind about London, but because the international support team is extremely lacking. It takes forever for e-mails to be answered and I don’t have much faith that they will be accessible once I’m there.

School #3 is still processing my application so clearly a September start is looking shaky, but this is the program I really want.

I’m planning this year long trek around the world and I’m also looking at domestic schools, but all I’m sure of is that I want to leave Ohio ASAP.